I.

♪ "'wake in a sweat again / another day's been laid to waste / in my disgrace / stuck in my head again / feels like I'll never leave this place / there's no escape / I'm my own worst enemy...'"

My eyes shot open. I felt my head start to pound. I looked around, wondering where I was that morning. I’d spent the night in the bathroom -again-. I got up on my elbows and looked around..puke on the sink, on the toilet, on my pants...i’d done it again.

I reached for my phone to see what time it was, only to find that I’d had 18 missed calls..16, of course, from Tommy, and 2 from Kim..i hoped she hadn't seen me like this. i turned the alarm off on my ipod and, figuring Tommy would call me back eventually, called Kim back.

as soon as she picked up, she started in.

"GOD DAMMIT LINDSEY!!" she screamed in my ear. my head pounded from the severe hang-over I had going on. "i tried calling you, what happened to you???"

Good .So she doesn't know. "i just fell asleep, take a chill pill. sheesh." i put the phone between my shoulder and my ear and tried to get up. i slipped on my puke and fell back down. then i felt the pain in my ankle...i looked down. It was bruised up and hurt like a mutha. i tried to remember what happened..i knew i went to the party--but not just any old party, -the- party. i remembered people handing me shots over and over again, just thrusting them in my hands like I'm some kind of garbage disposal for vodka..i remembered the dancing..all the people i grinded, who grinded against me...remembered making it back home..but how?..

Kim was still on the line--"hello?? linds? I'm coming over, I'll be there in five minutes, ok?"

shit. i mumbled something in response then started the shower and ripped off my puke-stained clothes. i jumped in, then immediately turned the water on freezing cold. i needed to wake up, to feel icy. i remembered it then..Tommy didn't drop me off..it was..what was her name?

then i heard the banging on the door. "hey!!! uhh...i don't know your name..lexis i think? anyway, i had fun last night, I'll call u ok?" then the voice disappeared and i heard the front door slam.

now i remembered---Hannah. she dropped me off--and stayed over? shit. of course...alcohol does do that to me..

i stepped out of the shower and tried to find some clean clothes. there were none, of course. i haven't done any laundry in about a month--i just keep buying new clothes. i found ones that don't smell like alcohol, cigarettes, or puke and put them on. i cleaned myself up and waited for Kim to get there.

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